Burnt nose :(

I went swimming yesterday, needless to say I didn't wear sunscreen...I rather do, I should because it's very bad for the skin that I don't. I did however put on some oil, the kind that has NO SPF and makes you burn like crazy. I guess I must have rubbed my face with my hands some time while I was in the pool because my face is crazy burnt. My poor nose hurts and I just noticed while looking in the mirrior that it's slightly blistered, no wonder it hurts so much. So...word to the wise: USE SPF, especially on your nose!

New PC?

I plan on upgrading my PC when classes start again next month and I get my finicial aid money...I should say building a new PC rather than upgrading because my current PC hardware is not even worth keeping. Anyways, I've been debating on whether I should buy a prebuilt one from say a company like HP (just an example) or build my own (I built the one I currently). Hmm...we'll see!

Not sure if I can take it

I told myself that if I didn't call him for a week, it wouldn't phase him a bit; I also told my friend that if I didn't call for a week it would phase him a bit...I was right. The last night I really talked TALKED to my boyfriend was on July 4th to see what his plans were (mind you were in an LDR) and to see how his day went because he had the day off from work, and even then we didn't really talk about much outside of our plans for the evening. I've called him twice since 4th of July, one was to get him to come online so that one of our mutual friends who hasn't talked to him in awhile could talk to him; a simple can you get online was all that was said. I called him Sunday to see how his lan party went because apparently he had a lan party with 25 people at his house on Saturday night, he still had people over at his house so I let him go...he told me he'd talk to me in awhile but never called back.

It's out of character, I suppose, you could say for me to NOT call him and NOT go online (we both play World of Warcraft) to his server to talk to him a little bit. I'm the one that always calls, always tries to keep up with him, see how he's doing, what he's been up too, make sure things are okay on his end etc. and I figured I'd see how long it'd take for him to do the same for me...yeah I didn't get what I wanted. I suppose I thought that with me not coming online or me calling, that he would call to see how I was, what I've been up too and at least check on me to make sure things are okay since it's not normal for me to not call & attempt to talk to him. His excuse is the same as always; I've been really tired and really busy. Yeah really busy & really tired but not so much that you can have 25 people over on Saturday night which ended up staying until 6pm the following evening for a lan party, I guess you're only too tired and too busy when it comes to me, your girlfriend, someone you say you love & care about & want to be with yet you put no effort and take no intiative to even talk to me...whatever. I honestly don't know if I can take it anymore, the feeling of not feeling wanted, the feeling of not mattering, the feeling of putting my heart & my feelings on the line for someone that doesn't seem to care (although he says he does). And it hurts even more because it's been 7 months, I do care about him, I do love him, I do want to be with him...but I'm not happy, now I have to do what's best for me.

I...

need him. I want him. I love him.

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Sick or Not Sick?

As of lately, every morning that I wake up I feel a little queasy to my stomach; I've pretty much chalked it up to not really eating meals throughout the day like I should, and eating only once so by the time I wake up the next morning my stomach is so hungry that it starts to eat itself (haha!). However, even after I eat it takes a few minutes to about an hour for my stomach to feel fine...I hope I'm not coming down with some nasty stomach bug or something, I hate being sick and it's been a very long time since I have been aside from the usual head cold here and there.

I am also going to be starting a new 'diet' plan if you will; not taking pills and not a named diet plan but just a plan that involves me incorporating healthier food choices...more fruits, more vegetables, less sugars, less soda/caffine. The soda/caffine part I've actually been doing pretty well on, I don't allow my mom to buy soda anymore and really when I think about it I hard drink/eat a lot of bad things unless it's actually in the house. I think yesterday while at my grand parents was the first time I had a soda in a few days, I drink a lot of tea which contains caffine but I hadn't made tea in about a week. So we'll see how it goes, my mom also has the code to the fitness room here in the complex and I'll start going over there too :)

Relaxed Day

Today was fairly nice; I miraculously went to sleep last night at a decent time...it was still late, but 2:30am is better than 6-7am which also allowed me to wake up at 11:30 rather than 8pm in the evening. I was awake at 11 this morning but didn't roll out of bed until 11:30. I left around 2pm with my mom to head over to my grand parent's house and spent the day in the pool, it was just a really nice relaxed day. Now it's thundering and lightning outside, and I hope my internet doesn't get knocked out or I'll be pissed, haha.

I was thinking the other day that I really would like to get back into my photography. I've taken two photography classes at the community college I go to (which btw, I'll have my AA finished in Dec. eeeh!!) and I thoroughly enjoyed them; they were film black & white photography classes in which we took our photos, we developed the film and we made our prints. My grand parents bought me a Canon EOS Rebal T2 for my birthday (February) this year and I've only used it thus far for my photography class which I took this past semester...I did use it to take pictures at my brother's graduation but outside of taking photos for school projects, I haven't used it. I really need to find some places to take pictures and just go and shoot, colored & black and white. I enjoy taking pictures that give a nostalgic feel and I enjoy the usual flowers & such, I really want to find a nice macro lens but when it comes to things like that I don't know what's good, what's bad or where/what to look for. SOMEONE HELP :)

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Happy 4th of July!

Hope everyone had a good 4th of July, mine was pretty uneventful. I went over to my grand parent's house which is where we hold most of our cookouts because they have a pool, it was fairly relaxing actually but just sat around...didn't even feel like swimming because the night before (the 3rd) I drank too much for a stupid reason and didn't feel like being in the sun at all. We had BBQ ribs, red rice, corn on the cob, pasta, salad, potato salad...it was good :D

I went downtown to the battery to watch fireworks by myself, but I managed to arrive after they had already started and never found a parking spot to actually get out and watch any of them, so I ended up driving around downtown for an hour or so while on the phone with the bestest. I am never WITH someone on 4th of July; maybe next year I will be...it seems romantic, but at least I got to talk someone so I suppose that's better than nothing!

Stupid sleep schedule...ZzzZZ

I really wish I could fix my sleep schedule, this always happens during the summer. I end up staying up all through the night and don't fall asleep until around 6-7am (at least as of lately) and then sleeping all day, not waking until 5-6pm! My days have been wasted for the past week and it's getting really frustrating, the only way for me to fix my schedule is to stay up all through the night/day and crash around 10/11pm that evening...some times however that doesn't always work out and I just can't hold my eyes open any longer and crash which just messes my schedule up even more! Sigh...so unhealthly too!